Feeling The Grief
Hello Again Dear Humans & Angels. . .
Every one of us who has made it to adulthood (and many of us who are still very young) has/have experienced immense LOSS of one kind or another. One thing science and psychology knows about grief in loss is this:
To deny emotion does not spare you of it; rather, it loads your undercurrents and deep self with a heaviness that can show up as physical, emotional, mental and/or spiritual un-wellness. . . this can manifest in actual physical ailment, deep disconnection from a sense of aliveness, mental confusion and alienation from life, others, and even ones self. It can leave us either sleepless or un-endingly drowsy - either way, exhausted. It can render us helpless and hopeless to face our moments or so anxious we can barely breathe.
The other side of the coin of unwellness is the potential for SUPER-wellness. While science tells us that to withhold our feelings can cause great damage to our beings, it also shows us that those who courageously and willingly allow their emotions full and open expression, will find that on the other side there awaits a wealth of healing, energy, and even new roads of hope and possibility. More physical energy and freedom from aches and pains, emotional fluidity and connectedness, mental clarity and hopeful thinking, and often a spiritual growth or awareness one didn't have access to before. At the very least, and at the beginning of grief's journey, one may find a moment or three of stillness in the midst of the storm. . .
Yet for many of us, accessing our grief - no matter what sort of loss we have experienced - is not always easy. Whether your loss is past, present or to come; whether it is of human life, pets, places or things, perhaps a listen to the song below (or any other music that softens your heart) might open a gateway to your grieving. If so, welcome it. Set a time and space to fully FEEL the power of loss, the depth of how fully you LOVED what you are losing, and be open to the river as it carries you - yes, perhaps for a time right through the pit of despair, and into the caves of the dragon of ache. . . but if you stay with it, if you are willing and able to follow grief's lead, look into the mirror your pain offers you - you will likely find on the other side that grief leaves you up on a drier shore; a shore that has a bit more stillness to it than the one you left; a shore that offers a spot of rest, a slightly slower or deeper breath. Grief may require that you make this journey several times to the depths and back again before you have expressed all that is there for you to feel. If you can know that Grief is not your enemy, but rather a well that forms you to a new version of yourself, one that encompasses rather than needs what you once had - and will always love - then you may, eventually, find yourself with a level of tranquility, grace and well-being you never knew you had.
Ready to fall in? Listen to this (or any other music that opens you to wherever your heart needs to go):
Lewis Capaldi - Wish You The Best (Official Video)
I wish you deep journeying and a gentle return.
*Thank you Lynn Frances Anderson for making me aware of this song that so powerfully dumps most of us into our good and powerful Grief.
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Rev. Maya Massar