Hello Dear Friends,

As promised to many of you, Heartful Living & Dying's Minute Meditations are finally up on Instagram.  You can access them here:
HeartfulLivingandDying on IG
Or on the Meditations page of this site. 
These are tiny little meditations/affirmations to lift your spirits, calm your mind, or bless your body.  They are so short you can do them almost any time, anywhere!  Use them for self-regeneration, emotional regulation, rest and renewal or a quick personal power-prep before you need to face something or someone you find difficult.  You are welcome to request minute meditations on particular topics - just pop me an email and we will put your topic in the lineup for recording as soon as we can!

Wishing Love and Heartfulness to All,
Maya
mayamassar@gmail.com 

And as an aside, here (picture above) is a beautiful post from @babaramdass on IG
The caption is:
"Death is our greatest challenge, as well as our greatest spiritual opportunity. By cultivating mindfulness, we can prepare ourselves for this final passage by allowing nature, rather than ego, to guide us."

And I say YES. As a hospice spiritual advisor/chaplain, I can say that in my experience death offers a most magical and powerful gateway to spiritual growth. It offers us the potential to heal the soul, grow as human beings, transform fears, harvest from our lives all that our souls came here to experience. . . and those who have prepared, who have practiced in some way, are so often the ones among us who have the most powerful and often most graceful death experiences. Meet with Death, dialogue with Death; it wants you to befriend it, and the mindfulness this entails will lift you not only in your last moments, but in all the ones you will live between now and then.

Thank you and RIP Baba RD.

Alice Herz-Sommer died in hospital in London on 23 February 2014, aged 110.  But before she died, she earned the amazing title of being the world's oldest living pianist - and also the oldest living holocaust survivor.  Born in Prague, in November of 1903, Alice survived Theresienstadt concentration camp because she was a musician.  She says "music saved my life" - but she does not mean just that being a musician kept her from the gas chambers - she shares that music kept hope alive in her. 

You can see the trailer for "The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life" - the Academy Award winning documentary about Alice's life, written, directed and produced by Malcom Clarke, HERE, (and if you would like to see the whole thing, you can purchase it on some platforms now). 

I share this story because it is one in which a fellow human being finds hope, reason to live, and even rapturous JOY - - in the face of having lived through one of human history's most brutal chapters.  To me, Alice's sense of joyful presence - "Every day in life is beautiful. every day" says Alice. . .  and I find myself lifted just seeing  image and hearing her say these words.  And so I ask myself: Can I, with the many privileges I enjoy, complain about ANYTHING when Alice finds such grace in her moments?  The answer is, of course, yes, I can choose to complain. . . yet Alice reminds me that I do not have to.  She reminds me that my moments are filled with many gifts - if only I will choose to see or feel them - even when the obvious thing might be to feel down, blue, hurt or angry, full of grief, turned in torturous frustration to the darker side of my own road. . .

My mother, in her own transcendent, near-death wisdom shared with me, "why on Earth do we wait til we are dying to let go of things? Stressful thinking, relationships, lifetimes of work, our homes, our loved ones, even our arms, legs, torso and head - - even our sense of who we are - - it would make so much more sense to start letting go of stuff earlier in life, because one day a day will come when we have no choice - and we HAVE to let go of ALL OF IT..."  Alice somehow managed to harness her love of music even as she was forced to let go of so many things - which she did with such grace.  And yet Alice remained one with her love of music, her awe at the gift composers left us, the power of music to hold up hope, even in the worst of circumstances.  If Alice did it in her circumstances, could not you and I echo this grace?

And so I share Alice with you all; may her pristine and gentle joy catalyze your own emotional system, amidst whatever heaviness you currently face, towards one small moment of upliftment  . . .  or maybe a whole bouquet of wild glee today.

Wishing you each moments of joy - not to block out the pain, but to co-exist with it.

With Much Love Always,
Rev. Maya

Believe it or not, there actually IS science to Happiness and Well-Being!!

Yale University's Laurie Santos teaches a course for teens through the Coursera.org platform.  If you are - or know of - a teen who might enjoy or benefit from this course, please pass it along!  Understanding that our state of Well-Being is something we DO have control of could not be more important for teens - or any of us - in today's world that pushes strife and stress upon us all every day. More teens than ever now report feeling depressed. . . Having taken Laurie's course for adults, I can testify to the usefulness of the fun and very accessible science she shares (and it is neither complicated nor hard to understand), and to the power of the easy-to-do exercises her course offers.  The Coursera courses are fully online, and are low-cost or free (depending on whether you are seeking a certificate). 

HERE is the LINK!

Enjoy, or pass it on.

Be Happy, Friends!
Love,
Maya

For several decades now, the Mayo Clinic has been offering a Massage Therapy Program in order to improve the health of many of their patients. Massage/Bodywork/Healing Touch has been shown to reduce both physical and emotional pain, enhance sleep, raise overall energy, support healthy immune system, improve digestion, enhance endocrine system function, increase athletic endurance, flexibility and strength, relieve harmful effects of physical, emotional and mental stress, relieve side effects of loneliness, shift heart rate, lower blood pressure, soothe skin issues, promote a sense of overall well-being, and for some massage may even offer a connection to spirituality.

There are a zillion reasons these various benefits may be available through massage, but most certainly one of them is the simple effect of human touch.  We know that human touch alone can bring about many of the above listed effects, and we know that these effects are needed by us all!  For those of my readers who are caregivers, I want to take this opportunity to remind you that when you touch those you care for, you are offering a moment of potential grace of one sort or another. You may not know which of the positive effects of touch is required - or being transmitted - in that moment, but you can know that your touch has an effect.  And if you are aware of this, perhaps you will touch with even more of your heart present; you are offering a gift.

But Ohhhhhh dear caregivers!!  Remember also that as a giver, you enhance what you offer by also seeking to RECEIVE!  Whether you are a professional caregiver, a caregiver to one in need in your home, or simply give because you are human - YOU TOO, DESERVE THE BENEFITS AND NOURISHMENT OF BEING TOUCHED!

All that said. . .

It is also important to lift up that if you are a recipient of touch you have the right to dictate WHEN, WHERE AND HOW you are touched.  Even if you are being touched with caring grace and kindness - - if you do not welcome that touch, you may decline it!  And whether you are being touched for a procedure or a kindness, you still have the right to declare the way in which you wish to be touched. If you are uncomfortable in any way, you may say so. No matter what age or stage of living or dying, no matter what the social status of the person touching you is ("doctor, lawyer, beggar, thief", as they say. . .), YOU are the director of YOUR body's handling! There may be any number of reasons a person does NOT want to be touched - from pain level, to a sense of personal space, to neuro-diversity or disease that makes one hyper-sensitive to sensation - you are the gatekeeper of your own boundaries, and it falls to caregivers to respect your choices.

However, IF you are able to welcome and to receive loving touch, here is my firm but loving reminder to:
GET A MASSAGE or  other HEALING BODYWORK AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN! 
Massage can be done with our without clothing, it can be whole-body or just, say, shoulders, neck and head, or just a back massage, or just calves and feet, or just feet and hands (you might be surprised how deeply relaxing a hand massage can be!!) or even just a gentle face massage. Bodywork can be deep and strong for the well-used muscles of an athlete, or soft and gentle specifically for relaxation.  If you are new to body work, you may wonder about your privacy; all professional body work maintains your modesty, even if you are getting a full-body, no-clothing massage. Draping with sheets or towels will keep your personal parts safe and private.  Many types of bodywork can be done fully clothed, and this is suggested for anyone who has experienced any sort of abuse, or who simply feels uncomfortable removing clothing. Some therapies do not even involve actual physical touch, but rather offer "energy" healing (but that is a topic for another post!)

As one of my life-path incarnations some time ago, I was a licensed, working massage therapist and bodywork practitioner for many years; I still offer gentle healing bodywork in my private practice, and make referrals to other practitioners that might be a good fit for whomever is seeking healing or relaxing bodywork.  Wherever you choose to receive the many benefits of professional human healing hands, I want to urge you - especially in these long, cold, body-stiffening months of winter in the Northern Hemisphere - to find a practitioner you feel safe with (or even just trade touch with a friend or trusted family member), and give yourself and those you care for the gift of massage.  Received on a regular basis starting now,  I can almost promise that you will see measurable benefits before spring!

As always, you can visit my scheduling portal; if you are seeking a referral, please click the first option (free 15 Minute Exploration Session):
https://mayasessioncalendar.as.me/schedule.php
Whatever or wherever you choose,
Be Warm
Be Well
and a Lovely Winter to All.
Love,
Maya

CLICK links for more:
Mayo Clinic, Benefits of Massage
National University of Health Sciences
American Massage Therapy Association
Prevention.com
Thegoodbody.com
Harvard Medical School - Health Publishing
Importance of Touch for Elders (but really for us ALL)
More on Touch for Elders
(As you can see, there is a LOT of info out there. . . let's all be conscious of the importance of touch and make sure we touch others with kindness and intention, and receive the touch we all deserve for best quality of living and dying!)

Below (and also on the "Meditations" page of this site) is a link to short video sharing some words and then a demonstration of an (even shorter) exercise you can learn, teach others, and use any time you or those you are near need to reclaim a sense of safety.  It is not a fancy video - but the exercise can be a surprisingly powerful healing tool. I have used it in my work with trauma survivors - from immediate trauma (abuse, violence, house fire, earth quake, facing pain, death penalty etc.) to the trauma of our deep past (from recovery of repressed memories, to recurring fears, emotional overload, PTSD and C-PTSD that is based in past experiences of abuse, war, prison, law-enforcement encounters, long term health triggers, deep grief and more). But I also use this exercise for myself any time I need to regroup - to recover from a small scare in traffic, to prepare to enter interaction with a client in my work, to ground myself when I am feeling out of sorts, and to nurture myself back to sleep at night.  Try it out, and let me know what you use it for and how it works (or doesn't) for you!

The exercise is particularly nice for those who are facing death - their own or a loved one's - as it helps to alleviate future-focused anxiety, bringing us again and again back to awareness of and focus on
JUST THIS MOMENT,
JUST WHAT IS HAPPENING INSIDE ME RIGHT NOW. 

PS: Kids love this exercise!  It works particularly well for many kids as they are able to be truly present to sensations in ways adults often struggle to be.  Also, I have found that kids love to offer the exercise to friends and even remind their siblings or parents to use it when they witness people struggling with stress.  Doing the exercise as a family can be both unifying and individuating in a simple, healthy way.

Not long after I joined CHCS, I was made aware of an amazing human being; the fabulously creative, unceasingly hopeful, incredibly loving nurse, patient advocate and mother of our own New Hope Hospice here in Bangor; Pat Eye.
 
Recently, I have been privileged to spend time with Pat and learned that, even now at almost 90, Pat is as passionate for hospice and end-of-life care as ever.  Pat shared with me that the most important thing to her was that hospice caregivers truly LOVE each and every patient we worked with.  She felt that this was at the core of the job of all hospice workers.
 
I was thinking about this one morning after one of our staff meetings, and realized that that very morning, I had mentioned - and staff present had chimed in in agreement - that ours is a particularly loving team.  And I note it again; that I am so grateful to work with all of you – I find here more truly loving compassion and care from each of you for your patients than I have experienced anywhere from professional staff.  And I thought about this some more. . .  and I realized that Pat Eye has, indeed, left a great legacy to hospice:
 
Pat Eye’s conviction that truly LOVING OUR PATIENTS with all our hearts, devoting our skills and receptivity to their care, that putting PATIENT FIRST, advocating for, uplifting patient’s wishes at end-of-life – that this incredibly loving way of being present with patients IS PAT’S LEGACY.
 
I shared this with Pat – and how much I appreciated that her founding sentiment – loving our patients – had colored the entirety of CHCS hospice, and possibly that of hospice workers she has touched outside of CHCS as well. . . that her passion for Deep Care and Patient Advocacy WAS TRULY THE LEGACY SHE HAD CREATED AND WOULD LEAVE US ALL.
 
Pat shared that she felt LOVE was an even better legacy to leave than a physical hospice building.  I told her I agreed.
 
And so, today, I want again to thank you – each of you on our hospice staff whom I have begun to come to know – for the many ways you show or hold a LOVING presence in your active care for our patients.  And for being the caring individuals you most likely are in the rest of your lives.  I feel Pat’s legacy has trickled down, has called to it your service, has invited each of us into it’s flow – from Pat through our staff leadership, to each one of you, on our CHCS staff.  I am honored to work among you.
 
I share this story for several reasons;
 
1. I want to lift up the fabulous Pat Eye for anyone who might not be aware of the foundational building block she has contributed to hospice in Bangor and specifically CHCS New Hope Hospice, but also to Hospice everywhere.
 
2. I want to honor CHCS leadership for holding and maintaining Pat’s incredible legacy of LOVE going forward and the ways this legacy has influenced the inspired hiring of so many loving souls.
 
3. I want to remind each of us who are the soldiers on the ground, in homes and with access to the bodies, hearts, minds and spirits of real human beings – our patients, their families, and each other – that your love, skill and presence are so much more than we often give one another and/or ourselves credit for: We are – you are – carrying out a legacy of Love that is changing the way living and dying is experienced, every day, with every interaction.
 
THANK YOU, EACH OF YOU, FOR YOUR COURAGE, SKILL, AND KINDNESS IN OPENING YOUR HEARTS AS YOU DO, EVERY DAY. You may take this for granted, but it is an immeasurable gift you give.  And one that upholds our Pat Eye’s vision and passion so beautifully.
 
So yes, thank you Pat and every one of you, and may 2023 be the year that the love you give out returns to you threefold!
 
Amen, Aho, May It Be So.
 
Thank you.
 
Love,
Maya
 
 
(If you have not yet seen it, there is a brief documentary about Pat made by her granddaughter and presented at an award ceremony for Pat. You can see it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYfUqcC2lqw )