HeartfulLivingAndDying
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  • Maya Massar
  • OPENHOUSE!

Heartful Living and Dying
Rev. Maya Massar, MDiv.
Bucksport Professional Building ~ Suite #1, 151 Main Street, Bucksport, ME 04416

Welcome to the Blog page of Heartful Living and Dying. 
Maya makes every effort to properly and respectfully credit any sources referenced in her blog posts, her Hospice IDT offerings, or Resources page; please report corrections or additions via the CONTACT page.
ALSO:
If you wish to use material from this or any of Maya's websites, please email mayamassar@gmail.com for permission.  Maya lovingly requests that you credit her by sharing her name, website and contact links in written material and verbally as well if using material in live presentations.
You can contact Rev. Maya on our CONTACT page.
Thank you!


Blog

Lifting Up H.O.M.E. Inc. in Orland, ME

9/19/2023

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Today, I want to lift up a local organization worthy of note: H.O.M.E. Inc, located in Orland, Maine.  From their website:
"H.O.M.E., Inc. was founded in 1970 by Sr. Lucy Poulin (pictured below with a group of young volunteers) and other community members. In the beginning, handcraft studios were created as a means for low-income families in rural Hancock County to earn extra income through hard Maine winters. Community members produced items from their homes to sell at the Craft Store which is located on H.O.M.E.’s 23-acre site in Orland and that program continues on today. Now, more than 50 years later, needs of local citizens have led to programs of service tailored to respond in positive and effective outcomes, i.e. shelters for those experiencing homelessness, affordable daycare, organic gardens, a food pantry and soup kitchen, plus programs to support a house construction and repair effort that has built 53 homes for low-income families."
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H.O.M.E. offers a number of services, including their newly re-done hand-craft store!  I was recently in the store and found many lovely items - maybe you'd like to do this year's holiday shopping there, and in so doing, you make not only your own and loved one's holidays brighter, but also contribute to the holiday cheer for the artisans and their families, who themselves have experienced hardship.  The shop is bright and cheery, the crafts well made, and the staff welcoming!

I highly recommend a visit and exploration of this wonderful place that serves the community in so many ways.
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Want To Volunteer?

Go HERE:   
https://homemmausa.org/about-home/volunteer/

More You Can Do

If you yourself feel called to contribute to the work H.O.M.E. is doing, here is a list of items frequently used and needed in their programs:
  • New or gently used backpacks
  • 1-subject binders
  • Pens/pencils
  • Notebooks
  • Folders
  • Composition notebooks
  • Rulers
  • Erasers
  • Pencil sharpeners
  • Water bottles
  • New or gently used warm coats/jackets
  • Winter hats
  • Gloves/mittens
  • Thick socks
  • Winter boots
  • Scarves
  • Hand or feet warmers
  • Sunscreen
  • Beach towels
  • Lunch boxes

PLEASE VISIT H.O.M.E.'s WEBSITE for more info and ways you can assist:
https://homemmausa.org/

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How We Beleive

9/3/2023

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Monotheism, Polytheism, Pantheism, Animism, Agnosticism, Atheism . . . 
What are the differences? Which is yours?


Curious to learn more, explore your own belief systems or understand someone else's?  Take a moment to look at a brief description of each of these.  The definitions below are generalized - people adhering to any of the systems listed will have individualized experience and understanding of them; so, bearing that in mind,  here you go with some very basic statements:

Monotheism - This word comes from a mix of the Greek “monos” (one, alone, single) and “Theo-“ (God).  Monotheists believe in and worship one God.  Examples of Monotheistic religions are: Islam, Judaism and Christianity.

Polytheism - Again, from the Greek, “poly” (many) and “Theo-“ (God).  Polytheists believe in and worship more than one god.
Examples of Polytheistic religions: Mahayana Buddhism, Shintoism, Candomble, Taoism, Confusionism, Hinduism, Wicca and Modern Paganism.

Pantheism - “Pan” (all) and “Theo-“ (God) give us All-God.  Pantheists may experience God-in-all-things and/or all-things-in-God.  Or, they may embrace their Pantheism by honoring or even believing in and honoring all Gods.  Some people claiming Pantheism may simply have a tolerance for all religions, beliefs, and Gods.  Many religions - and some non-religious spiritualities - embrace Pantheism, such as some branches of Buddhism, Taoism, Paganism and ecologists, and even some Christians.

Animism - The prefix “anima” comes from Latin and means “spirit” or “soul”.  Animists believe that the world is alive with soul/spirit; that all things (not just people) have or are vital beings with true soul or spirit, and as such, can and should be interacted with respectfully.  In Animism, plants, rocks, rivers, stars and spoons are on some level conscious and a part of the interconnected, interdependent web of life.  Animistic religions include Shinto, Hinduism, Paganism/Neopaganism, Shamanistic or Earth-based religions and many (if not most) Indigenous spiritualities.

Agnosticism - The prefix “A-“ (meaning “without”) plus “Gnosticism” (Gnostic meaning knowledge) gives us Agnosticism, the belief that we cannot know whether God and/or the supernatural world exists or does not exist.  Agnostics may not believe in any theism or may embrace a religion theoretically but interact with it knowing it may not have basis in truth.  An Agnostic neither believes nor disbelieves in God.

Atheism - The prefix “A-“ (meaning “without”) plus -theism (God), means, of course, without God. Atheists do not believe in God or supernatural presence. 


Many people find considering the beliefs of others difficult. Yet the ability to explore and understand others is central to generating a community of harmony among our fellow humans.

Interesting questions to ask yourself might be:

What belief system was I raised with?  
Was religion or spirituality offered to me or placed upon me (that is, was I introduced to - or  was I indoctrinated with a religious belief)?
Do I practice the religion of my childhood today? 
Do I still believe in the religion of my childhood? (If not, why not? If so, why?)
Does what I believe bring me peace, passion or other positive experience or attitude?
Do I feel that my religious or spiritual beliefs make me a better person?
Do my beliefs still feel relevant or supportive to me?
Do I have judgements of other people’s religion?
Do I think that if I had been raised within a different belief system that I would be a different person at my core?
Does my religion/spirituality bring me peace?
Do I feel comfortable imagining what it might be like to have a different belief system?
Can I love people of different belief systems?
Which system (“ism) listed above is most difficult for me to imagine embracing?
What might I be like if that system were the one I was raised with?
What is my greatest fear about my own beliefs? 
Might there be there things about my belief system or religion that could be harmful to me or other people?
What does my belief system or religion offer me that is helpful or healing?
How does thinking about other people’s beliefs make me feel? (Anxious? Angry? Fearful? Surprised? Curious? Interested? Etc. . .)

As an Interfaith Minister, chaplain/spiritual advisor working in hospice and grief support, I, Maya, am tasked with being present and fully engaged in many religions and styles of belief.  I, personally, feel very, very honored to be let in to people’s deepest heart, wisest mind, softest vulnerabilities and the great strengths that every person’s religion or belief system offers them.  I have found that willingness to go with someone to the core or essence of their deepest truths brings those truths alive; it is possible to gain rich understanding on a visceral level when we embrace the inherent worth and dignity of others.

Whatever your heart holds true, spiritually, religiously, scientifically, or otherwise, I celebrate your peace, joy and delight in the amazing journey of being human!

With Much Love,
Rev. Maya

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The Meaning Behind Muslim Prayer Postures

8/23/2023

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Have you ever wondered about the meaning behind the three positions of Muslim prayer?

In the youtube video "Steps of Muslim prayer explained"  by David Middlecamp,
Spiritual Leader (Imam) Mas'ab Abdalla explains it with grace and simplicity. 

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1. Hands are put up to symbolize putting the world behind, so as to focus fully on God.  Imam Abdalla shares "it's hard, but it's a practice we do five times a day".  "This first step is standing up, with the mind above the heart; the first step on the journey for a seeker of truth - it is all intellectual; learning the steps of purifying onesself, and how to pray. . ."
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2. The second step is done in the bowing state.  The mind and heart are now on a level - they are even with one another.  Imam Abdalla tells us that this represents the second step of the seeker - and that in this pose the teaching is transferred from solely intellectual in the mind to an experience of the heart.
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3. Prostration.  In the third and final stage of the seeker, the mind is placed below the heart; it represents the submission of heart to God.  In this stage, says Abdalla, "We trust in God. We are loving God whether times are tough or times are prosperous."

To see the video of this simple and beautiful explanation offered by Imam Abdalla,
please CLICK HERE (or the link above) to watch.

If you did your own prayer five times every day, what do you think might unfold?

If this information is new to you, thank you for opening your mind and heart to another's way of praying; understanding builds compassion, compassion builds community, community makes our world a better place for everyone.

Much Love,
Rev. Maya
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Image above is from www.learnreligions.com 
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MAKING SPACE

8/23/2023

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Today I want to share a story that has been going around on social media; it is a letter written by pop star Fiona Apple, about her choice to cancel her South American concert tour.  May we all have the respect for our own hearts, loved ones and our personal process that Ms. Apple takes for herself in this lovely example of true self care and care for a being who has been her companion for over a decade.  Here is her letter:

“It's 6pm on Friday, and I'm writing to a few thousand friends I have not met yet. I'm writing to ask them to change our plans and meet a little while later.
Here's the thing.
I have a dog, Janet, and she's been ill for about 2 years now, as a tumor has been idling in her chest, growing ever so slowly. She's almost 14 years old now. I got her when she was 4 months old. I was 21 then — an ad0-ult, officially — and she was my kid.
She is a pitbull, and was found in Echo Park, with a rope around her neck, and bites all over her ears and face.
She was the one the dogfighters use to puff up the confidence of the contenders.
She's almost 14 and I've never seen her start a fight, or bite, or even growl, so I can understand why they chose her for that awful role. She's a pacifist.
Janet has been the most consistent relationship of my adult life, and that is just a fact. We've lived in numerous houses, and joined a few makeshift families, but it's always really been just the two of us.
She slept in bed with me, her head on the pillow, and she accepted my hysterical, tearful face into her chest, with her paws around me, every time I was heartbroken, or spirit-broken, or just lost, and as years went by, she let me take the role of her child, as I fell asleep, with her chin resting above my head.
She was under the piano when I wrote songs, barked any time I tried to record anything, and she was in the studio with me, all the time we recorded the last album.
The last time I came back from tour, she was spry as ever, and she's used to me being gone for a few weeks, every 6 or 7 years.
She has Addison's Disease, which makes it more dangerous for her to travel, since she needs regular injections of Cortisol, because she reacts to stress and excitement without the physiological tools which keep most of us from literally panicking to death.
Despite all this, she's effortlessly joyful & playful, and only stopped acting like a puppy about 3 years ago. She is my best friend, and my mother, and my daughter, my benefactor, and she's the one who taught me what love is.
I can't come to South America. Not now. When I got back from the last leg of the US tour, there was a big, big difference.
She doesn't even want to go for walks anymore.
I know that she's not sad about aging or dying.
Animals have a survival instinct, but a sense of mortality and vanity, they do not. That's why they are so much more present than people.
But I know she is coming close to the time where she will stop being a dog, and start instead to be part of everything. She'll be in the wind, and in the soil, and the snow, and in me, wherever I go.
I just can't leave her now, please understand. If I go away again, I'm afraid she'll die and I won't have the honor of singing her to sleep, of escorting her out.
Sometimes it takes me 20 minutes just to decide what socks to wear to bed.
But this decision is instant.
These are the choices we make, which define us. I will not be the woman who puts her career ahead of love & friendship.
I am the woman who stays home, baking Tilapia for my dearest, oldest friend. And helps her be comfortable and comforted and safe and important.
I need to do my damnedest, to be there for that.
Because it will be the most beautiful, the most intense, the most enriching experience of life I've ever known.
When she dies.
So I am staying home, and I am listening to her snore and wheeze, and I am revelling in the swampiest, most awful breath that ever emanated from an angel. And I'm asking for your blessing.
I'll be seeing you.
Love,
Fiona”


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Please visit www.fionaapplestore.com 
Or click the image above to support this artist and all around kind human.
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Brother Steindl-Rast's A GOOD DAY

8/9/2023

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Today, I invite you to take a small moment, just for you, to gentle your breath as you read this piece by 96 year old Austrian-American Benedictine monk,  BROTHER DAVID STEINDL-RAST.  

It is called


A GOOD DAY . . .

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“You think that this is just another day in your life?
It’s not just another day.
It’s the one day that is given to you – today.
It’s given to you.
It’s a gift.

It’s the only gift that you have right now
and the only appropriate response is gratefulness.
If you do nothing else but to cultivate that response to the great gift that this unique day is…

If you learn to respond as if it were the first day in your life
and the very last day
then you will have spent this day very well.

Begin by opening your eyes, and be surprised that you have eyes you can open.
That incredible array of colors that is constantly offered to us for our pure enjoyment.
Look at the sky.
We so rarely look at the sky.
We so rarely note how different it is from moment to moment, with clouds coming and going.
We just think of the weather, and even with the weather we don’t think of all the many nuances of weather.
We just think of “good weather” and “bad weather.”
This day, right now, with its unique weather, maybe a kind that will never exactly in that form come again...
The formation of clouds in the sky will never be the same as it is right now.
Open your eyes.  Look at that.

Look at the faces of people whom you meet.
Each one has an incredible story behind their face, a story that you could never fully fathom.
Not only their own story, but the story of their ancestors.
We all go back so far.
And in this present moment on this day, all the people you meet, all that life from generations and from so many places all over the world flows together and meets you here like a life giving water if you only open your heart and drink.

Open your heart to the incredible gifts that civilization gives to us.
You flip a switch and there is electric light.
You turn a faucet and there is warm water, and cold water, and drinkable water.
a gift that millions and millions in the world will never experience.
So these are just a few of an enormous number of gifts to which you can open your heart.

And so I am wishing you will open your heart to all these blessings and let them flow through you.

That everyone you will meet on this day will be blessed by you,
just by your eyes, by your smile, by your touch, just by your presence.

Let the gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you.

Then it will REALLY be a good day.”



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For an inspiring start to your day:

Play video below or CLICK HERE 

to listen to Steindl-Rast himself, as he recites A GOOD DAY, in this lovely video.




Who is Brother David Steindl-Rast?

CLICK HERE


to learn more about this fabulous soul,
known as the “grandfather of gratitude”.




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Pastoral Counselor VS. Spiritual Director

7/14/2023

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Recently, I was asked by a potential client what the difference between working with a pastoral counselor and working with a spiritual director was.  One of my answers to this question is that generally speaking, a pastoral counselor is going to come from two very specific angles - that of the particular faith path they are on, and that of psychotherapy's aim "to help you feel better".  While there are times when this may be exactly what a person wants, needs and is seeking, there are other times when a different path may be called for.  Other times (or for other folks), these goals or focuses are less relevant, less helpful.  And neither of these is the aim or orientation of a good spiritual director.

I should put a brief bit here about the term "spiritual director".  It is an interesting title, as even spirtual directors themselves are at odds regarding its use; most poignantly because the word "director" is really a misnomer; the last thing a spiritual director does is "direct"!  Rather, we follow your lead, uplift your spiritual path whatever it may be, sit with you in whatever YOU hold sacred, and remain present with you - whatever your struggles and celebrations along the way may be.  Many of us, myself included, prefer the term "Spiritual Companion", for what we do as trained spiritual guides is more like a good friend along the path with you. . . yes, we have tools and skills that we offer as you go, but we are in no way "directing" you.

I am very fond of this quote from Barbara Brown Taylor's  “Learning to Walk in the Dark”; she says:

“Maybe that is the difference between pastoral counselors and spiritual directors. We go to counselors when we want help getting out of the caves. We go to directors when we are ready to be led farther in.”

As spiritual director, my own faith path is not central; but further, neither is the concept of "feeling better".  From a spiritual companioning point of view, nothing is seen as separate from Source/Spirit/Oneness/God/Goddess/Nature/Universe (or whatever name you call to).  Therefore, when a shadow or dark time is present, it is embraced as a gateway to that which Source offers to reveal to us;  we ask repeatedly "where is the Divine in this?"  We invite a deepening into, rather than a seeking of change. We walk with you, and assist you in navigating your moments in full presence, so that the Divine's messages to you may reveal themselves.  And, sometimes surprisingly, they do.

That which your deepest and most authentic self seeks to learn about itself, circumstance, or human interaction as if by magic unfolds itself to those who are courageous enough to walk or be lead "farther in" to the cave.  And always, if one is willing, well supported, and truly seeking to unfold unto ever wiser and deeper truth, that truth presents itself.

Working with a trained and experienced spiritual director/companion can be life-changing.  To befriend one's darker caves, to trust in - or begin a relationship with - one's understanding of the sacred, can allow a new breadth of grace, peace and energy into life.

Whether you feel you are in need of counseling (pastoral or otherwise), or spiritual companioning, I celebrate your readiness to heal and broaden your radiance in your living or dying, here on Earth.

Live Heartfully, Dear Friends!
Love,
Maya
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Jan Richardson's Blessing the House of the Heart

7/12/2023

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Hello Dear Friends,

Today I read the piece below, by poet Jan Richardson, to our hospice team.  Though the poem is written as a comfort to those who have experienced a great loss, usually of a loved one, to my knowledge no one in our meeting was so bereft.  Yet this poem for me speaks not only to the life-pivoting loss we each must come to know at the death of someone we care deeply for or even hinged our existence upon, but also to those many small daily losses - those that can, without our knowing, pile themselves upon us. Paper-thin layers of grief and emptiness, hopelessness and despair - at times so tiny we may not even notice them falling or may think them nothing. . . and yet, when we dip in to our own chests or bellies - - or realize we are avoiding doing so - - we may find that the weight there has left us unable to breathe, alone or starving in ways we feel we cannot bear. 

If this could be you, or someone you know, have a read of this gentle yet sturdy poem; see if it might reconnect you to something useful, something personally Heartful. . .  Here you go:



Blessing the House of the Heart

If you could see
the way this blessing
has inscribed itself
on every wall
of your heart,
writing its shining line
across every doorway,
tracing the edge
of every window
and table
and hall--
if you could see this,
you would never question
where home is
or whether it has
a welcome for you.
This blessing wishes
to give you
a glimpse.
It will not tell you
it has been waiting.
It will not tell you
it has been keeping watch.
It would not
want you to know
just how long
it has been holding
this quiet vigil
for you.
It simply wants you
to see what it sees,
wants you to know
what it knows--
how this blessing
already blazes in you,
illuminating every corner
of your broken
and beautiful heart.

—Jan Richardson
from The Cure for Sorrow

You can visit the author's website by
CLICKING HERE: JanRichardson.com

And/or
order her book HERE.

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30 Second Nervous System Reset Exercise

6/27/2023

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What we do with our eyes affects our nervous systems.  In nature, creatures focus intently on details when they are seeking food, figuring out puzzling living logistics, or in intense interaction with another.

When we spend our time looking at tiny details, small things - our computers, phones, doing tasks requiring attention to detail or even looking into the eyes of another for deep conversation - this focusing of our eyes on small, close things sends a stress signal to the nervous system.  Highly focused eye activity takes place when things are either mildly stressful or perhaps intensely so.   Thus, while focusing on small things, the body remains in a sort of chronic, low grade stress mode.  .  .  .  But we don’t often think about this because, well, it is what we are used to. . .  We know, however, that chronic stress - even low grade stress - takes a toll and after weeks, months or longer of this attention to the tiny, usually in a downward gaze, our systems become deeply exhausted. All this, from what you are doing with YOUR EYES!!
When creatures in the wild are relaxed, their gaze goes softly UP and OUT. . .

SO, MY FRIENDS, TO RELAX YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM YOU CAN SIMPLY SOFTEN YOUR GAZE!
Look away from screens, faces, your work at hand - stop focusing on small things and WIDEN YOUR VIEW.

Even if you are inside; IMAGINE THAT YOU CAN SEE THE ENTIRE HORIZON.
Softly notice your PERIPHERAL vision.
Imagine you can sense the horizon to your right and left.
Maybe you can even sense it even behind you.

While doing this, notice your breath, and if you have not already done so, take a slightly deeper in-breathe, and slow your out breath a bit. Allow your breaths to connect you to your belly, allow your chest to become gently wider.

Notice how you feel after just a few seconds of softening and widening your gaze.  For most of us who have been lost in the tiny things, this short exercise can offer a true shift.

Do it often.
Every hour if you think of it, especially when you know you are having a day with a lot of the tiny stuff in it.
Let your eyes remind your body to take a breath, let them remind your nervous system
"All is well, we are safe enough to soften our gaze, take a moment to simply be present in the vastness that is life on Earth".

Enjoy, dear Friends.
And Live Heartfully!

Much Love,
Maya

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The Healing Power of Saying "NO"

5/22/2023

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I have posted on this topic before, and speak on it often.  In the early 1980's, I was beginning the first of the credential-gathering I deemed necessary in order to be accepted when speaking, teaching or otherwise sharing what I (and plenty of other folks aware of many forms of healing beyond western medicine's universe - such as ancient wisdom in indigenous healing, eastern healing, 'non traditional" and/or "spiritual" healing techniques), knew to be keys to healing many illnesses that western medicine deemed mysterious, unknowable, random and unfortunate.  At that time, mainstream social awareness of "alternative" healing was just beginning to catch.

What I was seeing during my practicum working with many people day after day, was evidence adding up to a clarity for me about the inter-connectedness of body, emotion, mind, and spirit that had always made sense to me, but for which I had, until then, not had concrete evidence of.  I spoke (albeit with some caution, for this was not an accepted reality at that time) to two of my alternative healing school cohort members, sharing what I was seeing on my table; that regularly - and now predictably - for me, people's emotional landscape was directly correlating with their physiological complaints.  My findings after weeks of observation became so clear that when a person shared their emotional history, I could pretty much guess what their physical complaints would be. 

When I shared this with my fellow practitioners, one blurted out "you MUST read Louise Hay's new book. . .", which I did. There, in her now classic, not particularly scientific (yet a gold mine for those of us who did not need convincing of her philosophies), book "You Can Heal Your Life" it was, line by line, validation for my own discoveries.  Had I not noticed the patterns myself, I might, like so many people did at the time, have written Hay's book and findings off as new age blibber-blabber.  But I was seeing the evidence every day, repeatedly.  And, further, over time I also saw that conscious shifting of the harmful patterns brought levels of health and well-being that western medicine could not explain.

As mentioned, many, many healing philosophies have understood for eons what mainstream western medicine is just now barely ready to open to; that healing is a multi-tiered, dynamic process that includes involvement of all aspects of a human being, their interaction with other humans, and their interface with environment.  This is a topic I could (and perhaps one day will) write volumes on; but for now, I want to introduce you to (or remind you of) a fabulous soul who is out there getting the wisdom where it has been most resisted: in the medical community.

Dr. Gabor Mate, of Vancouver, British Columbia, shares the important truth about healing with those who are engaged deeply in the culture of western medicine.  This is particularly satisfying to me as the folks Dr. Mate teaches are the folks who speak directly to a general public trained to listen for the "OK" from western science.  The word is getting out: HEALING IS A HOLISTIC VENTURE. . . and learning to say "NO" (in other words, allowing the deep self to have a strong, authentic - and honored - voice, regardless of what others need) may be at the core of so much more than we give it credit for.

Let me not ramble on any further; rather, I invite you ALL - practitioners, patients, people - to have a listen to this FABULOUS LECTURE by Dr. Gabor Mate.  See if there are any bits for you or your loved ones in here; see if you find yourself in Mate's stories, or if listening allows you to find yourself a bit more deeply within your own self. . .

To Your Healing,
With Love,
Maya

HERE YOU GO:


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CLICK HERE to view Dr. Gabor Mate's fabullus lecture
"How to Reset Your Body from Chronic Stress "



If you are in a hurry. . .or
In Need of a Short, Powerful Reminder, 
LISTEN TO THIS:

 Something beautiful and strong, for any of us who struggle with loving in complicated circumstances, or, when we know we should let go for our own well-being,
CLICK HERE/INSTAGRAM

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Photo by Russell Maliphant CLICK HERE to read about the artist.
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The Jewel Inside

5/22/2023

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Ahoy there Friends, Old and New,

Whether your minutes here on Earth have been - or remain -  few or many, please follow the link to this fabulous poet reading her shining words on your worth today, right now, and always. 

CLICK HERE to listen to The Gift-Wrap & The Jewel. By Wanda B. Goines


May something here, or elsewhere in your day, lead you home to the essence of your worthiness, and love thereof.

On the Great Spiral,
Warmly,
Rev. Maya
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    Author:

    Rev. Maya Massar

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    There is also This:
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    And If You Prefer Silliness, Here is Maya's Friend Noco, the 23 year old Blue and Gold Macaw on IG:
    @orinocothepirate

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    Bucksport, ME

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    04421

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