Blog Posts

Welcome to the Blog page of Heartful Living and Dying.
Maya makes every effort to properly and respectfully credit any sources referenced in her blog posts, her Hospice IDT offerings, or Resources page; please report corrections or additions via the contact page. If you wish to use material from this or any of Maya's websites, please email [email protected] for permission. Maya lovingly requests that you credit her by sharing her name, website and contact links in written material,
and verbally as well if using material in live presentations. Thank you so much, and May Your Living and Dying be Heartful, Friends!

And now, here is the Blog. . .

Something Personal, and An Idea for You

5/10/2024

Greetings Friends,

This past week, in our last in-person meeting in Bucskport, Maine, and in our on-going meetings on Zoom, I shared an idea with those present. Have a read and see what you think. . .

Are you an ORGAN DONOR? And whether you are or are not, I have a question for you to consider. . . IF YOU WERE THE RECIPIENT OF A DONATED ORGAN, WOULD YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR NEW ORGAN'S ORIGINAL OWNER? If your donor had left a letter for their recipient (you), about their life and views, would you wish to read this? Why or why not?

This was a topic of our discussions in the most recent Memento Mori Conversations. Some people expressed that they would indeed love to know and would read such a letter. Some shared that they would like to have the letter, but would wait a while to "get to know" or "feel the energy of" their new organ before learning more. Some shared that they would prefer not to know anything - either feeling that this knowledge would be irrelevant to their own life, or fearing they might learn something they did not want to know. . .

What if you learned your donor had lived a life you disapproved of?
What if you learned your donor was someone who's standards you might not "live up to"?

In fact, most donors are like the rest of us; having lived lives with both things to be proud of and things they might have wished they did differently.

And if you feel you WOULD be curious to read such a letter, and you ARE an organ donor, WOULD YOU CONSIDER WRITING SUCH A LETTER FOR A POTENTIAL RECIPIENT OF YOUR ORGANS?

If yes, what might you write about yourself?

Some people in our discussion group shared that they worried that opening up such a vulnerable thing as this letter, could subject them to misunderstanding or even judgement of those who read that letter. The idea of being misunderstood when they were no longer alive to defend themselves felt too open, too risky. . .

And I would agree - IF one is concerned with how one is perceived, this letter may not be a good plan for you. It is my opinion (with which you are welcome to agree or disagree) that IF I am to write such a letter, it must be free from any desired outcome for myself. The reason to write the letter must be as altruistic as I am able to let it be; that is, if I write such a letter, I must write it in the same way I gift my organs - as AN OFFERING TO THE RECIPIENT. No more, no less.

And in fact, this is what I decided to do, some years back.

Another concern one participant had was that "I might change my values or views from when I write the letter to when I die". To this I say, yes, we do grow and change, and our values may change with us. However, at the core of my being I have always been "me". If I go back to my earliest memories (and those who know me know that for whatever weird reason, I have memories that go back ridiculously far), at the very CORE of "me", I have always been the same soul. How I describe things has changed - I have become better at articulating my core self, but that core itself remains as it arrived. I believe (again, you are welcome to share other viewpoints) that we are as we are at our deepest essence. Yes, life offers us opportunities to refine and re-define that essence, as we stalk ever more authentic ways to live. But we are who we are. . .

Because this is my belief, and because I myself would want to know my donor, I have written such a letter. Inspired by one of the wonderful participants in the Memento Mori Conversations group, I share it with you now (yes, this is a very vulnerable thing to share) in the hopes that reading it might help YOU:

A). Clarify for yourself whether you, too might (or might not) wish to write such a thing

B). Maybe take the risk to write a letter even if you decide NOT to share it - or even if you are NOT an organ donor; Writing a letter encapsulating one's take on living and dying gives one pause to know one's self more deeply, and to consider what one might still wish to grow, change or become in the remaining years, months, days or moments one still has on Earth. As a hospice chaplain and death support person, I can share that some of the most powerful and dramatically life-shifting moments people experience can often be at the very end of life; we can ALWAYS grow into our better selves.

Below, I welcome you to read my letter (I have written it in the past tense, assuming it will be read when I am no longer living in my human body); please be gentle on me for it, as you might want others to be gentle upon reading yours. Think of it simply as "food for thought". It is my wish that your reading of it my be a part of your own discernment process and/or that of your own path of self-awareness. (Whether reading it guides you to what you may wish - or not wish - to do yourself.)

Much Love to All,
Rev. Maya

Note: You are more than welcome to share this blog post, but no portion of the letter below is to be copied or shared outside of this blog post without written permission. ( See © note at end of letter). THANK YOU!!

Letter to Recipient(s) of my Organ(s)   

The letter to follow should be offered to any recipient, or legal guardian of any recipient, of a transplant of any of my body parts:   

Dear (Name),   

It is my wish that you receive this letter along with the transplant of a part of my body. I want to share a few things with you, because it is my belief and experience that physical matter – in this case a body part – holds a sort of ‘memory’ of things that have taken place near or within that matter in the past. Since a part of what was once me has now become a part of you, I thought you might like to know some of the things that ‘part’ has experienced; in essence, I want to share a bit about me, my life, my points of view. These things may be irrelevant to you, but in case I am right, and some of the ‘energy’ of me begins to influence you, I thought you might be curious to know your new body part’s origin!  

First of all, know that however my death may have come to pass, my basic belief is that there is nothing terrible about death itself; I, like my mother before me, see death as a natural and even possibly exciting passage; no more, no less. This means that I have left you my body part/s in a good way – full of the hope, love, excitement, and peace that comes with transitions one does not fear. Think of it like this: Your new body part is fully yours; I have released it and I am delighted to gift it to you!   

I am someone who did face a lot of things in my life – scary things, sad things, delightful things, magical things, powerful things, sweet things. . . I think – hope – I met each challenge and each grace with some semblance of courage and openness. I value INTEGRITY above pretty much everything else, though my message and motto was always to LIVE AS LOVE. I worked with Angels and stones, crystal and bones; I did my best to find art in everything I encountered. I saw my purpose and life as being a catalyst for the growth, transformation and healing of all I encountered, most especially myself. I mostly saw my life path as (whenever I could manage to make it so) an offering of my love, creativity, passion; all these in service of the betterment of life on our beautiful and precious Earth.   

I strived always to live (in thought and word and deed, to the best of my ability) in alignment with Highest Good and Deepest Love for All That Is. . . and with a wish that every moment of my life in some way be a contribution to the lessening of the suffering of all beings. Of course I am as human as the next person, and thus, to be sure, I often fell short of my mark; I did not always succeed, but I always tried.  

It is my experience that everything & everyone, every circumstance that we encounter – is some kind of mirror of what lies within us; thus I worked tirelessly to own my experiences and dig deeply within to change MYSELF any time I saw a need for change in the world around me; the more difficult a person or experience was for me, the deeper within myself I would look for answers. Usually, I found them.   

I see conflict – as my Angels and Stone & Plant friends suggested – as an invitation to CREATE; if a situation arises in which I am involved in a conflict, I do my best to see it as a gift – a moment in which I have been invited to create something new – conflict implying that neither my idea nor yours is right; thus let us invent some new idea, as yet unborn. . . this view, to my way of thinking, could make a world full of creative ideas, rather than wars. . . so . . . perhaps, the body part that is now yours holds the energy of all this. May all your conflicts be blessings of opportunity.   

I loved very, very deeply in my life. I loved my parents and siblings, my children and their fathers, my lovers and friends, people I worked with, strangers I met every day; I loved those who misunderstood me too. I loved stones, plants, animals and the solar system. I loved the so-called unseen realms; Goddesses and Gods, Jesus and Allah, the fairies and elves, Angels and all manner of helping spirits. And as I sit here and type, I can say that I love you too, as you are a part of All That Is. Maybe you will ‘feel’ me sending you Light from some Otherworld (what ever you may call it or think the land of death to be). . . and maybe you will not. But know this: if I can will it so, you will live a long and healthy life, so full of love and wealth and abundance of every sort that you, too, will be happy when it is your turn to let go of the physical matter that is your body, some long time from now.

In September of 2009, my mother, Petie W. Grillo, was a day or so away from her impending death when she turned away from the wall, where she had been ‘talking’ to her dead mother, Peggy, our ancestor Uncle Waldo (among other bright ones long since passed on), towards those of us in the room still living, and said:

“What I wouldn’t give for just ONE MORE day, EVEN THE WORST DAY of my life”

I knew the concept here, but to be faced with someone who was really at that gateway, and was saying this so genuinely, touched the core of my being. Since then I remember this message every day (and I imagine I did until the day I died). It is small and simple, and yet it has the power to transform my universe when I recall it, especially when I am unhappy or in unhappy circumstances. I share it with you now, in case you could use the reminder that I myself needed so very often. It is so easy to get lost in comparing our moments to what we imagine they could or should be; but, at least for me, when I compare most of my rough moments to not having any more at all, my pain is transformed to a mysteriously shining gem within a treasured gift: presence and awareness of this time on Earth - My Life, whatever I am experiencing.

I wish you every experience and shining moment your soul could dream of – from the fabulous to the mundane – and that you cherish every one of these during your precious time on Earth.   

Love Always,

Maya Andrea York Grillo Massar*

April 17th, 2024

4/17/2024

I WANT MY BODY TO ROT

Today, in my last Team Meeting at Community Health and Counseling Services Hospice (for those who do not know, I am moving back to Canada to be closer to my granddaughter), I read two poems by Gina Puorro. I adore this passionate, irreverent poet and hope you might enjoy her work as well. You can visit her website for more if you like what you read. Below, in her piece called I WANT MY BODY TO ROT, she shares a sentiment many of us have felt - - or perhaps have not yet dared to feel, and yet might welcome the opportunity to embrace the fall-of-form that most of us will encounter before the end of our lives.

Here you go:

I WANT MY BODY TO ROT
~ Gina Puorro

I want my body to rot.
Loose skin and sagging breasts
lips thinned by the years of laughter
every line untucked and carved deep.
I want to be so wrinkled and withered
that the AI can’t even identify a face
to smooth and plump
and your $86 serum drowns itself
in my crow’s feet.
My divine feminine doesn’t need
jade eggs or goddess codes
she doesn’t need to up-level
her mind, body or orgasms
by finally investing
in your five figure quantum transmissions
or finding a man to surrender to.
She’s an old hag
Sheela-na-gig
her vulva sagging to her knees
Baba Yaga
lighting your way
with a burning skull.
She’s the dirt between your toes
the thunder clapping on a July afternoon
the ocean breaking on your thighs.
She’s singing 90s R&B
with the volume all the way up
while going 90 on the highway.
I want my belly soft and supple
full from an appetite satiated
by giant bowls of pasta
Sunday morning lovin’
long naps in the afternoon
choosing a slow burn
over hustle
every time.
I want my success measured
in joy and rest and pleasure
in how well I protect my peace
and how much I savored
the small moments.
I am the wildflowers and weeds
fucking up the clean edges
of your manicured lawn.
I am a raging maiden
the mother who birthed all of creation
a crone witch cackling at the audacity
of being a dangerous old woman
and loving it.
I am Lilith crashing your dinner party
with an apple pie
after you invited Eve
to wash your dishes.
When I die
I want my body to rot.
Let me be good meat
for the vultures
until I am nothing but
bone and memory
and grind me down
into an ancestor of the land.
I want to melt back into the dirt
that gets stuck under your nails
and muddies your feet
good soil for the next harvest.
I want mycelium sprouting from my decay
feeding the oaks and ash
and psychedelic epiphanies.
I want to dissolve
back down
into everything
and nothing
all at once.

VISIT GINA PUORRO'S WEBSITE HERE :
www.ginapuorro.com

Another Poem

3/15/2024

THE HOLDING OF HANDS
By Sherwin Sleeves
@sherwinsleeves on Instagram - visit this account to follow or experience more of this poet's work!

When I was a child, I held hands with everyone I met.
My parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins,
The hands of teachers and friends and children nearby.
I would walk down shopping isles and take people’s hands
Until one took mine back.
When I was five, my handholding days came to an end,
When I was told I was getting too old for the holding of hands,
And for many years I lived a life without the holding of hands
Until I had a child of my own, and the moment my son began to walk,
He took my hand and I began to live that way again.
And this is to say, that the very last thing I plan to do on Earth,
Is hold someone’s hand.
I hope it is my wife’s hand, or my son’s hand, or both their hands.
But it might be the hand of a nurse, somewhere,
Or the hand, even, of a stranger
In a shopping isle.
But if there is no one there, I will hold my own hand.
And that will be the hand of the boy I once was;
We will take one last walk together
Into the heart of the heart the country;
“There is only the holding of hands”, I will tell him,
“There is only
The holding
Of hands.”

In this month's Memento Mori Conversations, we discussed the holding of hands - - what is it to be by the bedside of someone dying, and be the one to hold their hand? And also, we explored our answers to the question "Have you considered who's hand you might wish to be holding in your own last moments. . . a person known to you, a stranger, or what if that person is only you, yourself?"

We also discussed the phenomenon whereby many people do end up dying when no one is in the room. They may hold hands, exchange words and other touch, even state that they wish someone nearby, but ultimately end up leaving when the room is empty.

Of course we cannot know the reasons, only speculate. One thing many dying people have shared with me, in my work in hospice, is that it is very hard to see and think about the sadness we cause our loved ones by our dying. Some people actively tell me they would prefer to die with no one around, and that the idea of "letting go" is much easier to consider doing when one is alone.

Is dying alone a peaceful thought for you? A frightening one? Neither here nor there?

As always,
Live and Die Heartfully, Dear Friends, or, at least, may they be all you hope for them to be!
With Love,
Rev. Maya

HOPE

3/6/2024

Here is the poem I shared with my Hospice Team today, and my wishes for you below it. The poem is called HOPE, by the fabulous John Roedel.
If you like what you read, you can visit his website and purchase his work HERE.

Take a soft breath, and allow Roedel's words to gift you whatever it may be you are in need of right now, for I think they might have that power if you let them. . .

HOPE

~ John Roedel

I have been carrying hope
in my pocket like it was
polished gemstone for years

whenever trouble came
I’d squeeze hope tightly
in my shaking hand

and I could feel
it bump against my
palm like a newborn
heartbeat

that’s how
I knew that
I was safe

recently though,
I somehow lost my hope

I have no idea if I put it down
somewhere or if it slipped out
while I was fumbling for my keys

without being able
to hold onto hope

I soon became lost myself

after a while of wandering
in the wild on my own

I bumped into hope
   ~ who looked so different

Hope was no longer a
little gemstone that could
Fit in my pants pocket

hope was a now a wide stream
cutting through the woods

“I thought I lost you!” I admonished

the river grabbed a couple of
rainbow trout and used them
to smile at me

“lost me?” The water babbled. “That’s impossible!”

“Well, one minute I was holding onto you and the next you were gone.”

“I needed to change forms,” Hope replied.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because you’ve been carrying me for so long that I decided we should try something different.”

“What’s that?”

“I thought I would take a turn carry you for a bit.”

The river rose
Up around me

and pulled me gently onto
my back

I was floating

I didn’t realize how exhausted I was
until the river held me

And Hope carried me
And Hope carried me
And Hope carried me

and now whenever trouble
comes

I just spread my arms open
and let hope wrap me up in
her slow water

and I can still feel it
pulse against me like a
newborn heartbeat

that’s how
I know that
I’m safe

I don’t know where
we are going

hope and I
still appear to
be lost

but at least we
are together

   maybe we will stay lost out
here for a while longer

   funny enough, I’m in no rush
to get to our destination

because it has been so long
since I’ve felt held by anything

and I think I could really
get used to it

------------------------------------------

And now I (Maya) say to you:

Fall back on that stream or river of Hope
Put down your bags
. . . And the bags you carry for everyone else. . .
And let Hope carry YOU.

Notice how your breath slows and deepens - it is so good to be held.
All of us need this.
Notice, when you allow it, how your muscles and joints soften and invite blood flow.
Notice how aches and pains more easily release.

We often cling to idea that hope comes from some future thing
But Hope is there for us, and finding it is sometimes as easy as just laying back
And letting it carry us.

So, may Hope carry you today, may it be
the silent current of inner wealth beneath you
as you walk through whatever comes.
May you know you are held - and carried - even without knowing the destination - on the river of Hope's steady, gentle flow.

Hand on belly, hand on heart
to anchor the sense memory.

Amen.
Ashe.
Aho.
May It Be So.

Live Heartfully, Friends.
Love Always,
Rev. Maya

Prayer for Hospice Workers

2/24/2024

In our Hospice Interdisciplinary Team Meeting last week, I shared (a modified version of ) a prayer written by Elizabeth Kaeton. The prayer is titled "Prayers for All Who Work In Hospice", and is aimed specifically at hospice staff. But this prayer is for anyone working long hours caring for others, so, if that is YOU, then this prayer is for you.

I N V I T A T I O N A L P A U S E . . .

Before receiving the prayer, I invite you to take a moment, even as you read now, to allow a softer, deeper, more beautiful B R E A T H to fall in, and gently out. . . Remembering that letting go of tension allows blood-flow, increased oxygen and nutrients to all parts of your body, including the brain, supporting clearer, more creative thinking. Let your muscles hang heavy off your bones, just for these 3-4 minutes . . . softening the scalp, gentling the tiny muscles around your eyeballs, letting the jaw and tongue go, neck, shoulders now, then soft heaviness down your arms, hands, uncurling the fingers. . . little muscles between your ribs releasing, allowing more space for the breath to expand outwards, blood flow to all your digestive organs, warmth and ease of belly, hips, heavy the long muscles of the thighs, down into knees, calves, ankles and feet, soft the feet and tiny toe muscles. . . rest for a moment, dear feet, who carry so much on such a small surface through our days. . .

And now, in your soft openness, may Kaeton's prayer be of value to you today:

Prayer for Hospice Workers
Elizabeth Kaeton (modified version)

May the passion you have for life light the compassion you have for others.
May you know that when you do small things with great love you change lives.
May the blessings you receive mean more than the hours you work.
May you remember to keep both feet on the ground while tending to those who have one foot in in the Unknown.
May you be grateful that your daily encounter with death and dying brings you a deeper appreciation of life and living.
May you never lose sight of the fact that what really matters is not the length of life, but the depth of it.
May your work be grounded in the knowledge that grief is the emotional, physical and spiritual expression the priceless gift of love, and that the only cure for grief is grieving (or, the pouring out of that love, through tears)
May you know that while no one may build a monument in your name, the way you make your mark in this life is by erasing the frown on someone’s brow.
And, may you start each day remembering the last words spoken by Steve Jobs before he died: “Oh wow! Oh wow! Oh wow!”
Amen. (May it be so.)

[Details of his final moments came from Job's sister Mona Simpson, who has allowed the New York Times to publish the eulogy she delivered at his memorial service on 16 October.]

See Steve Jobs giving an inspiring speech about his life:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tuw8hxrFBH8

In speaking about not only his own life, but life in general, for all of us, Jobs says:
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to somehow TRUST that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”

I agree, and, being not ancient but certainly far enough along to have connected my fair share of dots in life, I can say that I fully lift up
the gift to be had in stepping into, and LIVING from, that place of trust –
and that is when we Trust that we soften our shields,
which is the very thing that allows us to
fully engage in all our precious moments.

Today, my wish for you is that you trust the dots, as they come, even when their relevance is far from sight, and that somewhere down the line, the connections will reveal themselves. My wish is that that you allow yourself a softening into this trust, and that
each moment you have today –
however it hits you –
is rich
and fully yours.

Blessings On Your Day, Dear Friends.

Memento Mori Conversations on ZOOM!

2/7/2024

Email [email protected] to receive Zoom link
and/or be placed on our mailing list.

One Step Back

2/7/2024

Shifting thoughts shifts brain chemistry, which shifts not only the rest of our biochemistry, but our sense of mental and emotional well being.

I will invite you today to a mini-thought-change exercise.

If you have not yet stretched like a waking cat today, begin by grasping your hands and stretching them forward til your arms are long, and/or upward as well. Allow a breath or even a sound to come forth as you do this.

Done?

Ok, good. We could all use a bit more stretching as we begin our day, or as a mid-day re-enlivening, or an end-of-day release.

Now, settle yourself as comfortably as you can; right where you are will do.

Here we go:

Imagine or bring to mind – just for a moment - someone or some situation that irritates or even dramatically upsets you. Think about that person or thing, "YOUR DISTERESSOR", and let yourself feel what you feel.
Notice the type of distress – sorrow, loss, despair, anxiety, frustration, jealousy, fear, anger, even rage. . . Notice where in your body, heart, mind, and/or spirit your distress lives.

Now we are going to do what I think might be one of the SIMPLEST well-being exercises that exists:

Now, in your mind’s eye, see yourself TAKE ONE STEP BACK (as small or as big a step as you are called to take) - take ONE STEP BACK from your distressor.

One step.

Take a deep slow, lovely breath in and slowly out.
Notice yourself OUTSIDE of the circle of circle of influence.
Notice the ways your body, heart, mind and spirit feel – is there more spaciousness? Perhaps a sense of calm, or even freedom in your cells, maybe a recollection of your own center?

That is it. Place, if you wish, (and as I usually suggest), one hand on your belly and one on your heart to anchor what we did in the inner realms into your body, (so you can, hopefully, carry some of whatever SELF you accessed, with you into your day today.

One Step Back. It can be that simple.

This exercise is for YOU, any where, any time you feel you have left yourself for a drama outside of you.
And it is also an exercise you can easily share with others.
No matter the exterior scene, we can all, in our inner world, take
ONE STEP BACK.

Memento Mori; Finally ONLINE!

1/31/2024

For all who have been waiting, we are finally offering the
Memento Mori Conversations online, via zoom!

Live, in person meetings in Bucksport and Castine will also be happening
(barring further illness, flooding or blizzards)!

We know that February is not everyone's favorite time to head out of the house, and even one more meeting online can feel like overload, but we hope you will join us in opening space for gentle and authentic conversations about many people's least favorite topic: DEATH and DYING.

Note: All times are East Coast USA. You can find your time zone here:
https://www.timeanddate.com/time/map/

Second Wednesdays, (Mid-Day) 12:00-1:30PM
ONLINE VIA ZOOM
Email [email protected] for the link!
Next Gatherings Wednesday:
2/14, 3/13, 4/17, 5/15

Second Wednesdays, (EVENINGS) 5:30-7:00PM
Castine Witherle Memorial Library
41 School Street, Castine, Maine 04421
207-326-4375 - [email protected]
https://witherlelibrary.net/
Next Gatherings Wednesday:
2/14, 3/13, 4/17, 5/15

Second Thursdays, (MORNINGS) 8:30-10:00AM
Bucksport Memorial Library
47 Main Street Bucksport, Maine 04416
(207) 469-2650 - [email protected]
https://www.bucklibrary.org/home
Next Gatherings Thursday:
2/8, 3/14, 4/11, 5/9

The following tenets are lightly modified from Circle of Trust Touchstones for Safe and Trustworthy Space,
Center for Courage & Renewal, founded by Parker J. Palmer.
As much as possible, we will hold our conversations within these:

1. Give and receive welcome. People learn best in hospitable spaces. In this circle we support each other’s learning by giving and receiving hospitality.

2. Be present as fully as possible. Be here with your doubts, fears and failings as well as your convictions, joys and successes, with your listening as well as your speaking.

3. What is offered in the circle is by invitation, not demand. This is not a “share or die” event! Share what and when your soul calls you to share. Your soul knows your needs better than anyone else does.

4. Speak your truth in ways that respect other people’s truth. Our views of reality may differ, but speaking one’s truth in a circle of trust does not mean interpreting, correcting or debating what others say. Speak from your center to the center of the circle, using “I” statements, trusting people to do their own sifting and discernment of what is right and true for them, as you do for yourself.

5. No fixing, saving, advising or correcting each other. This is one of the hardest guidelines for those of us who like to “help.” But it is vital to welcoming the soul, to making space for the inner wisdom of each soul to arise.

6. Learn to respond to others with honest, open questions. Do not respond with counsel or corrections. Using honest, open questions helps us “hear each other into deeper authenticity.”

7. When the going gets rough, turn to wonder. Turn from reaction and judgment to wonder and compassionate inquiry. Try saying to yourself “I wonder why they feel/think this way?” or “I wonder what my reaction teaches me about myself?” Set aside judgment to listen to others—and to yourself— more deeply.

8. Attend to your own inner teacher. We learn from others, of course. But as we explore stories, questions and silence in a circle of trust, we have a special opportunity to learn from within. So, pay close attention to your own reactions and responses, to your innermost – and most important - teacher.

9. Trust and learn from the silence. Silence is a gift in our noisy world, and a way of knowing in itself. Treat silence as a member of the group. After someone has spoken, take time to reflect without immediately filling the space with words.

10. Observe deep confidentiality. Safety is built when we can trust that our words and stories will remain with the people with whom we choose to share, and will not be repeated to others without our permission.

11. Speaking from Self: It has become popular to tell one’s own story using second person vocabulary (such as “when you face something like that, you are really scared”, rather than “I was really scared when I faced that.”) Using “I” statements and sharing from your own personal experience and feelings engages your most authentic self and invites deeper listening from others.

12. Gentleness: Intense feelings may rise up for you or others as rich topics are explored. Be as kind and gentle with yourself and those around you as you might be for a tender child or any other beloved one; hold space for and be patient with whatever arises, and reach out for assistance if you need it.

13. Know that it’s possible to leave the circle with whatever it was that you needed when you arrived, and remind yourself that the seeds planted here can, and often do, sprout and grow in the days to come.

One Step Back

1/24/2024

Shifting thoughts shifts brain chemistry, which shifts not only the rest of our biochemistry, but our sense of mental and emotional well being.

I will invite you today to a mini-thought-change exercise.

To begin, if you did not stretch like a waking cat yet today, reach your arms forward and/or upward, pulling them outward/upward, and allowing a breath or even a sound out as you stretch.

Done?

Ok, good. We could all use a stretch, at least a little, to start our day, re-enliven our bodies for a moment mid-day, or shake off at the end of a day.

Settle in, wherever you are, to your comfiest position for this moment.

Imagine or bring to mind – just for a moment - someone or some situation - that irritates or even dramatically upsets you. Think about that person or thing, "YOUR DISTERESSOR", and let yourself feel what you feel. Notice the type of distress – sorrow, loss, despair, anxiety, frustration, jealousy, fear, anger, even rage. . . Notice where in your body, heart, mind or spirit your distress lives. Just notice.

Now we are going to do what I think might be one of the SIMPLEST well-being exercises that exists:

Now, in your mind’s eye, see yourself TAKE ONE STEP (as small or as big a step as you are called to take) – but take ONE STEP BACK from your distressor. One step.

Take a deep slow, lovely breath in, and slowly out.

Notice yourself OUTSIDE of the circle of circle of influence;
Notice the ways your body, heart, mind and spirit feel – is there more spaciousness? Perhaps a sense of calm, or even freedom in your cells, maybe a recollection of your own center?

That is it.
Place, if you wish, (as I usually suggest doing after an inner exercise), one hand on your belly and one on your heart to somatically ground the etheric work into your body, (so you can, hopefully, carry some of whatever SELF you accessed) with you into your day today.

One Step Back. It can be that simple.

How to Help Your Gods Make Friends

1/10/2024

Here, Friends, is a wonderful poem written my one of my Interfaith Spiritual Direction colleagues,
John Janelle Backman, with who's permission I share it. I find this poem's message to be everything from silly, sweet and uplifting, to deeply poignant and relevant to today's traumatized world.
I hope you enjoy it.

You can visit the poem where it was originally published: https://braidedway.org/how-to-help-your-god-make-friends/
And please visit the author's site here: www.backmanwriter.com/

How to Help Your Gods Make Friends
- John Janelle Backman

Seat your god gently in a sandbox
with her favorite toys. Step back.
Let her look around, get acclimated.

When you know she’s ready, ask your friend
to place his god several feet away
and see what happens next. Don’t fuss

or intervene; just observe for now.
They’ll settle into parallel play
for starters. Soon you’ll see that furtive

exchange of glances, the hesitant
offering of a shovel, a stegosaurus.
Before long, they’re playing together:

minarets may appear, shrines and stupas,
mangers for baby gods—invisible
to you but not to them. Suddenly

look: like magic, with no warning,
your gods begin to look like each other.
Savor their softer edges, their babble,

the worlds they create together, how
each evolves in the other’s presence.
Forget about theology:

No one makes this happen. It just does.
Simply watch in awe or, even better,
do what your gods are doing: enjoy.

<<Previous

Forward>>

And now, here is the Blog. . .

Something Personal, and An Idea for You

April 17th, 2024

I WANT MY BODY TO ROT

Another Poem

HOPE

Prayer for Hospice Workers

Memento Mori Conversations on ZOOM!

One Step Back

Memento Mori; Finally ONLINE!

One Step Back

How to Help Your Gods Make Friends

Author:

Archives

Categories